Why I'm here ?

Sometime i feel confused, when i lost my motivation.
Why i here ? where my spirit gone ? I don't know about that anymore.
My family is the first reason I'm here, but for the fact i don't give anything.
I have my special person, but he can't be be my spirit. he don't have motif for his life too.
so, what i can do now ? God.. i already too far from you.. Can you take me nearer ? 
Please god, don't let me too far. 
I want to back to my good live, my spirit and motivation.
Why I'm here,

Unwanted ?

Have you ever felt excluded? 
When they look at you different from the others. 
Behave differently when they are with you and with others, do you ever feel unwanted? 
Have you ever?
I feel it. For some reason, I like something that can not be merged with another.
Such as a different substance, which can not be accepted. Like a duck egg in egg box.
Are we not at the same egg? but, why I differentiated.
I do not know why, what I'm too sensitive? but it is the truth. 
When their eyes talking to the other, but not when with me, they smile with others, but to me as forced. 
When they come to me when they really nobody else. Can you imagine? be a last option. 
Be anything untoward. 
Do you ever feel it?  
If so, maybe you have the same feeling with me. 
But somehow I'm not sure you have it, because you also see me as they saw me. : ')